Connections
Making Up and Breaking Up:Jealousy
If the story told by evolutionary psychologists is accurate, these evolved
sexual preferences should then be part of a larger set of reproductive strategies
for attracting a mate, fending off rivals, and ensuring the survival of one's
offspring. Because reproductive success is greatest when couples form a secure
bond, the presence of rivals represents a reproductive threat, and evolutionary
psychologists believe that humans evolved feelings of jealousy to cope with
that threat. However, the reproductive threat from a rival is different for
men and women, and so jealousy shows a clear gender difference. To study this difference, David Buss asked men and women to imagine two forms
of infidelity: (a) their mates were having sexual intercourse with another person,
and (b) their mates were forming a deep emotional commitment with another person.
He found that men showed a stronger negative physiological reaction to sexual
infidelity on the part of their mate, whereas women reacted more strongly to
the thought of emotional infidelity. The evolutionary explanation is that men,
uncertain about who fathered their children, have evolved a greater concern for
a mate's sexual infidelity. Men who did not show sexual jealousy risked raising
another man's children, thus losing out in the genetic struggle. Although women
clearly know who gave birth to their children, because a woman's reproductive
success often depends on a man's resources, women have evolved a greater concern
that their mate will become emotionally attached to another woman. Women who
didn't show emotional-commitment jealousy risked having their mate's resources
diverted to raising another woman's children.
Evolutionary Psychology in the Bookstore
In your local bookstore you may be able to note another example of the impact of evolved sexual preferences on human behavior. Consider the differences between two forms of fantasy literature: men's erotic magazines and women's romance novels. Men's magazines tend to be highly visual, depicting attractive young women in poses suggesting sexual availability for instant, anonymous, noncommittal encounters. Women's romance novels tend to include an extended courtship by a tender, considerate man who is sufficiently overwhelmed by passion for the heroine that he pledges a lifelong commitment.
In the real world, mate selection involves a compromise between the ideal romantic partner and the pool of available mates. Evolutionary psychologists propose that sexual fantasy, unencumbered by the complications of real life, more closely reflects the essential elements of our evolved preferences.
Evolutionary Psychology in the Newspapers
Another bit of evidence for gender differences in mate preferences can be found in the classified personal advertisements of many newspapers. If you examine the characteristics listed as necessary or desirable for a potential partner, you will generally find that men are seeking an attractive younger partner who is interested in fun rather than commitment. Women generally are seeking a mature, responsible partner with financial resources who is willing to invest time and money in a relationship.
Putting It into Perspective
Evolutionary psychology is providing some new and fascinating insights into human behavior. Some of the insights are not pleasant; however, armed with this knowledge, we may be able to minimize some of the damage that misdirected sexual strategies can cause in our families and in our relationships.
Evolutionary psychologists do not consider humans to be mindless robots controlled by rigid genetic forces. Humans are the most flexible of creatures, so even if millions of years of sexual selection have shaped our mating preferences and our strategies for obtaining a mate, we should still expect a wide range of human behavior that adapts itself to new situations.
And we should not be discouraged by research that emphasizes the role of physical attractiveness, youth, financial resources, or status in attracting a mate. In David Buss's international survey, none of these characteristics was consistently ranked at the very top of the desirability list. Across cultures, the top two preferences for mates were kindness and intelligence. Finally, remember that no matter what characteristics people desire in an "ideal mate," they generally marry someone who is similar to them on most dimensions.